Mortality

My mother is by far my best friend; heck she is my only friend. I have friends in Everquest (Tidbit, Veso, Ace and many more), but here in GA I have no real friends. There's my husband who is the greatest, but sometimes you need a friend other than your spouse. Then there's Andy who is always good to laugh with and always lends me a shoulder to cry on, but you can only talk about certain things to your Ex; therefore the role of girl friend, best friend, confidant has been given to my mother. She is my rock. When it gets bad I go to Mama, when it gets happy I go to Mama, when it's just going I go to Mama. So today when I found out she has a small mass in her left lung that may or may not be cancerous it devastated me. I lost my father in May of 04 and while we were not close it was still a hard blow; the thought of losing my Mama is unbearable.

She is a strong woman. She stands on her own two feet and dares the world to knock her down! She is my inspiration and I thank God everyday that he chose her to be my Mama. As she said "I'm not Dying" and I know that in the back of my mind but it still scares the hell out of me. It's selfish I know but I can't lose her right now; I couldn't handle it. Things are going well in my life - I am happy and I need her to be happy with me, to laugh with me and to ask me to come fix her computer. I need her to bitch at people in her sleep and yell at the newscaster at 6 am because she disagrees with God knows what. I need her to complain about the dogs that she loves so much she can't stand it; to garden for no reason; to read history novels so I can pretend to be interested. I need her to continue being my friend for 50 more years or 100...I know it's not going to happen. That one's life on this good earth is limited, but I pray and ask that you pray with me that I am given a good bit more time to spend with her. She is only 55 and I need more time...

Here's praying!

Well, I got my secret pal's Valentines gift mailed today (I love to shop but shipping...I' m bad about putting it off)... I also have one more assignment due tonight and then I'll have another class done and over with. My next class starts Wednesday but it feels good to have one more under my belt even if I don't get a break. I better get started - have a great evening.

Oh, FYI the song I spoke about yesterday is by Rick Huckaby and its called Good Times - it rocks. I strongly suggest you check it out - http://www.rickhuckaby.com/home.html

Have a good night all.