Your Comment - Janine

Janine - thank you so much for the comment! I can not tell you what your words meant to me... my faith over the past few years has become less noticeable and sometimes I'm so sorry for that and at other times I worry that I was too over the top way back then. I can find the words to go into where I stand in my faith right now because I'm not sure I know - however your words meant so much to me! May God Bless you in your endeavors and I hope to hear from you soon.

For those of you in blog land wondering what in the heck we are talking about - I was a very religious person in high school. I was an officer in our high school Christan clubs, I was at church every times the doors were open and I was exceptionally vocal about my beliefs. Now, I've taken a few steps back. I still believe with all of my heart and soul that Jesus Christ came to this earth for to suffer and die so that we may live in heaven with him. I believe that there is a heaven and a hell and I believe that you only have to believe in his grace and trust in his love to enter that domain.

With that grace and trust comes a lifestyle that if you truly love and walk with Jesus you will want to live; because my walk has become quite Rocky in the past few years I'm afraid my lifestyle does not reflect my religious beliefs. The distance I have put between myself and the cross has given me room for unhealthy questions and and a rather foul mouth that many of you have witnessed here.

Janine, thank you for bringing this back fresh to my memory. My husband and I have been discussing religion off and on for the past few weeks; maybe your prayers and thoughts of me were because the Lord knew that I was struggling with questions.

Such a large part of me wants to find a church and get back to walking in his presence daily; but another part of me is scared - of what I'm not sure. Maybe it isn't fear as much as it is not wanting to go back to being "the Christan girl" but what's wrong with that? Just because I'm Christan doesn't mean I cant' go dancing with my husband or have a good time with my friends; heck I don't even drink except for once or twice a year (hardly the excess it speaks of in the Bible). So why am I dragging my feet... Maybe it's time I spent more time talking to the good Lord and less time reading my romance novels.

Sorry for the religions rant/self analysis/questions, but it feels good to write this down! To put my thoughts into coherent sentences helps me to see where I want to go. May the Lord bless you with each with a restful sleep and a wonderful Wednesday!

P.S. I did email Josh my contact information - I can't wait to hear more about what your up to.. What do you teach? :)