Rut

I'm in a rut; I'm mad at my husband for small reasons that I won't go into here and I'm ... Well hell I don't know what I am. My former employer decided that yesterday was my last day; which in the grand scheme of things isn't that big of deal but it upset my balance. I'm still behind in school - 2 assignments to be exact and I care without caring enough to work on it. The house is a disaster; stuff is everywhere, the floors need to be cleaned, the cloths need to be washed - I think my cats are even sick of it but I can't seem to find the desire to clean it. I mean I have the desire to have it clean I just can't get off my ass to do it. What is that? I would call it laziness - but after living inside my head, my heart, my soul I know I'm not lazy; it's something else - something that is almost tangible but not quite. I sit here and type this rambling mess of words as tears form in my eyes and my heart quietly breaks; why you ask? Why I ask? The question remains unanswered. I need coffee...