Wow! Halloween 2007 - Already! Where has the year gone? I was looking at our weekend schedule from now until Christmas and I only have 3 weekends free in which to do all my Christmas shopping - how did that happen? Not that I mind the busy schedule, just lots of shopping to do! I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year though. I'm having a celebration w/ friends on 12/1 that I'm hosting and then I'm hosting another get together for my side of the family on the 15th! Going to be loads of fun, after I get done stressing. I really do love to cook these big meals, until the day I'm cooking them at which time I stress and cry before I can enjoy the day - crazy I know!
Anyway just wanted to check in and say Hi! Everything is good here just. We are just trucking about our daily lives. Oh, Melanie you are going to be so proud. We bought an exercise bike and have put it in the living room where we will actually use it (I'll move it for co. of course). I've worked out twice this week! 3o minutes at a time; it's not so hard w/ the big screen to watch tv on while I'm working out. Plus Jack is in here w/ me so I don't feel alone.... Keep your fingers crossed I keep with it. 5 Miles ridden today...
Plus I'm down to one coffee and soft drinks at meals. Other than that it's water! That's not a hard and fast rule, but generally I'm sticking with it. Funny though the more water I drink the thirstier I am ... odd... ! anyway since you are my health conscience I thought I would give you the update.
Have a good night all! Sleep well!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Movies
Have I told you that I love movies? They are a slight obsession of mine! The funny thing is that I'm not a 'hollywood' addict. I don't know but a few actors/actresses name, I don't know directors and I don't give a shit about what happens in their personal lives but I love the movies. I normally will equate actors to their roles. Such as ... saying hey do you remember that guy that played in 'Sweet Home Alabama' or that girl that played in 'Save the Last Dance'.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I'm not really sure except to tell you that I had some retail therapy today. Hollywood Video is going out of business which means all DVD's are on SALE! We got 22 movies for $139!!! I bought 4 or 5 movies at Best Buy the other day for almost that amount. Yes, we buy a lot of movies. We tried to rent, but ended up paying more in late fees than the movies and well I like to own them. It's about the only thing I collect. We have approximately 1000 movies (very rough estimate) and some of them or are on VHS. MUST REPLACE! And I love to decide hey I need a happy mood, or I need to kick some ass, or I need some adventure and be able to go into my movie collection and pull out a custom ordered mood. I can put the movie in and slip away for a couple hours into a world, into a life, into a town that is not mine. For those 2 hours I am a reporter, a superstar, a fighter, a dancer or what ever/who ever's world I decide to slip into. You can not ask for more, you really can't.
Tonight we watched "Holiday" a movie where two women trade houses/cars and lives for 2 weeks. GREAT FUN MOVIE. Full of laughs, drama and a general feel good movie. I loved it and it was exactly what I need. Jack even liked it. Now we have slipped into the world of sex, violence and drugs in Miami Vice. Life is good; Seize the Moment!
Why am I telling you this? Well, I'm not really sure except to tell you that I had some retail therapy today. Hollywood Video is going out of business which means all DVD's are on SALE! We got 22 movies for $139!!! I bought 4 or 5 movies at Best Buy the other day for almost that amount. Yes, we buy a lot of movies. We tried to rent, but ended up paying more in late fees than the movies and well I like to own them. It's about the only thing I collect. We have approximately 1000 movies (very rough estimate) and some of them or are on VHS. MUST REPLACE! And I love to decide hey I need a happy mood, or I need to kick some ass, or I need some adventure and be able to go into my movie collection and pull out a custom ordered mood. I can put the movie in and slip away for a couple hours into a world, into a life, into a town that is not mine. For those 2 hours I am a reporter, a superstar, a fighter, a dancer or what ever/who ever's world I decide to slip into. You can not ask for more, you really can't.
Tonight we watched "Holiday" a movie where two women trade houses/cars and lives for 2 weeks. GREAT FUN MOVIE. Full of laughs, drama and a general feel good movie. I loved it and it was exactly what I need. Jack even liked it. Now we have slipped into the world of sex, violence and drugs in Miami Vice. Life is good; Seize the Moment!
Friday, October 12, 2007
My Life.... When Did I turn Left?
Have you ever been going thru your life its day 1, day 2, year 26 and then suddenly you say HEY! How in the hell did I get here? What choices did I make in life? What twist and turns did I make that turned my life down this road?
If I would have joined the Air Force as I planned - how would my life be different?
If I would never had married my first husband what would have happened?
What if I would have branched out and looked at different colleges?
What if I would have explored myself and chosen a major that wasn't expected of me?
What if I would never have gotten into insurance?
What if I got pregnant?
What if I don't get pregnant?
And then you ask the really hard question.... Is this .... This path in life, this road... this space and time ... Is this where I want to be?
The answer to that question for me is generally yes it is. Yes I am on the path that I want to be on to go to the place in life that I want to go to. Will the path have more twist and turns before the end of my journey? and if so where will they lead me? No, I'm not a fortune teller so where is not one I can answer, however I can tell you that the twist will come... the choices will be made. The life will change. My only prayer is that wherever it ends up I have Jack and my family with me.
If I would have joined the Air Force as I planned - how would my life be different?
If I would never had married my first husband what would have happened?
What if I would have branched out and looked at different colleges?
What if I would have explored myself and chosen a major that wasn't expected of me?
What if I would never have gotten into insurance?
What if I got pregnant?
What if I don't get pregnant?
And then you ask the really hard question.... Is this .... This path in life, this road... this space and time ... Is this where I want to be?
The answer to that question for me is generally yes it is. Yes I am on the path that I want to be on to go to the place in life that I want to go to. Will the path have more twist and turns before the end of my journey? and if so where will they lead me? No, I'm not a fortune teller so where is not one I can answer, however I can tell you that the twist will come... the choices will be made. The life will change. My only prayer is that wherever it ends up I have Jack and my family with me.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Happy Life
Everything is good just working, reading, watching tv and sleeping :) Tonight I'm going to The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant, with our friends Melanie & Nate and Steve & Leo. I'm so excited. I've never had fondue before - I'm so excited...
Well, I don't have a lot to talk about. Hope this weekend finds you well!
Well, I don't have a lot to talk about. Hope this weekend finds you well!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Down Time
I'm taking some much needed down time this weekend. Lord knows I really need it, but my goals for the weekend are 1) don't think about work, 2) don't work 3) veg... that being said it's not exactly working out as planned. But I'm still refusing to do anything work related. Jack has gotten it into his mind we are going to stain the deck my brother came and helped us build last weekend. It looks really good! But I'm not sure I'm up for manual labor lol.
Here is a pic before the deck, paint, roof, and gutters. You can't really see how bad the porch was, but trust me it was horrible!
And now:
I'm not really sure where all the grass went... but we are going to put big gigantic rocks on that hill side and fill them in with river rock... We are staining the wood a tile red that will come close to matching the trim work around the house. It looks so much different.
Well, I'm off to read. Barnes & Nobles loves me as I went and purchased like 5 books yesterday. I was determined to not buy an author I have read previously so I only go one Nora Roberts book - tee hee.
Have a good weekend blogland.
Here is a pic before the deck, paint, roof, and gutters. You can't really see how bad the porch was, but trust me it was horrible!
And now:
I'm not really sure where all the grass went... but we are going to put big gigantic rocks on that hill side and fill them in with river rock... We are staining the wood a tile red that will come close to matching the trim work around the house. It looks so much different.
Well, I'm off to read. Barnes & Nobles loves me as I went and purchased like 5 books yesterday. I was determined to not buy an author I have read previously so I only go one Nora Roberts book - tee hee.
Have a good weekend blogland.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Strike Against Stess
Yes you read correctly - I am striking against stress! When ever anything pushes my stress button (which has been pushed often lately) I am striking against it. What does this mean exactly... let me give you an example:
A) You have 4 temporary workers @ your office @ 8:30 am to help with a project that is due on 9/1 and that with even 4 people working 8 hours a day will more than likely not be complete.
B) Those for workers do not have computers at 8:30 am and the project requires a computer so you must find something for them to do. HIT THE STRESS BUTTON. Stress button gets pushed and Mylerna's strikes against it. Instead she gives them some paperwork that needs holes punched in at and puts them to work; follows up on their computers and commands herself to smile.
C) 11:30: they have punched a whole in every sheet of paper available, the computers are being installed and Mylerna takes them out for a 'welcome to the company, however temporarily you are here lunch'.
D) 12:30 Get back from lunch to find that they have computers but no login and password to get into the system. HIT THE STRESS BUTTON. Determined to strike against stress, Mylerna smiles and forces herself to breathe in and out several times. She then follows up with several people for the logins, ask if anyone has any ideas what she can do with these ladies and waits...
E) 2:00 Mylerna follows up on the login's again to find out that "no they are not ready and we have no ETA" HIT STRESS BUTTON. Again determined not to stress Mylerna kindly explains the situation to the temporary workers, sends them home and ask them to report back at 8:30 the next morning.
F) 3:00 Mylerna informs administrative assistant that she sent workers home and that they would be back tomorrow. Administrative assistant gets upset and states she had items they needed to do. HIT STRESS BUTTON. Mylerna still determined to strike against stress smiles, kindly explains that when she asked earlier if there was anything for them to do she was told no and that she did not feel it in the companies best interest to pay the workers to sit and be pretty. Stress is beginning to seep thru the picket line and all sugar coating of the situation is slowly deteriorating.
G) 4:15 Mylerna gets email from Bosses' Boss asking why he had his assistant go thru the trouble of hiring temps if they have nothing to do. HIT STRESS BUTTON THREE TIMES. Mylerna breathes in and out, says a few curse words and remembers her dedication to the strike against stress. She emails her bosses boss explaining that while we have work for them to do it does require them to be able to login to the computer and setting up of employees in the computer department has absolutely nothing to do w/ her job.
H) 4:30 Email system on Mylerna's computer crashes. STRESS BUTTON IS PUSHED AND HELD DOWN. Mylerna forgets about her strike against stress, picks up her stuff and decides to finish the day from home.
I) Next Day: The strike against stress is reaffirmed and we go thru another day!
Join with me in the strike against stress in your life.
A) You have 4 temporary workers @ your office @ 8:30 am to help with a project that is due on 9/1 and that with even 4 people working 8 hours a day will more than likely not be complete.
B) Those for workers do not have computers at 8:30 am and the project requires a computer so you must find something for them to do. HIT THE STRESS BUTTON. Stress button gets pushed and Mylerna's strikes against it. Instead she gives them some paperwork that needs holes punched in at and puts them to work; follows up on their computers and commands herself to smile.
C) 11:30: they have punched a whole in every sheet of paper available, the computers are being installed and Mylerna takes them out for a 'welcome to the company, however temporarily you are here lunch'.
D) 12:30 Get back from lunch to find that they have computers but no login and password to get into the system. HIT THE STRESS BUTTON. Determined to strike against stress, Mylerna smiles and forces herself to breathe in and out several times. She then follows up with several people for the logins, ask if anyone has any ideas what she can do with these ladies and waits...
E) 2:00 Mylerna follows up on the login's again to find out that "no they are not ready and we have no ETA" HIT STRESS BUTTON. Again determined not to stress Mylerna kindly explains the situation to the temporary workers, sends them home and ask them to report back at 8:30 the next morning.
F) 3:00 Mylerna informs administrative assistant that she sent workers home and that they would be back tomorrow. Administrative assistant gets upset and states she had items they needed to do. HIT STRESS BUTTON. Mylerna still determined to strike against stress smiles, kindly explains that when she asked earlier if there was anything for them to do she was told no and that she did not feel it in the companies best interest to pay the workers to sit and be pretty. Stress is beginning to seep thru the picket line and all sugar coating of the situation is slowly deteriorating.
G) 4:15 Mylerna gets email from Bosses' Boss asking why he had his assistant go thru the trouble of hiring temps if they have nothing to do. HIT STRESS BUTTON THREE TIMES. Mylerna breathes in and out, says a few curse words and remembers her dedication to the strike against stress. She emails her bosses boss explaining that while we have work for them to do it does require them to be able to login to the computer and setting up of employees in the computer department has absolutely nothing to do w/ her job.
H) 4:30 Email system on Mylerna's computer crashes. STRESS BUTTON IS PUSHED AND HELD DOWN. Mylerna forgets about her strike against stress, picks up her stuff and decides to finish the day from home.
I) Next Day: The strike against stress is reaffirmed and we go thru another day!
Join with me in the strike against stress in your life.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Two Post
Two post in one week... yep Jack's gone and I'm bored :) tee hee.
Guess what ???? I got an outstanding achievement award at work today along w/ $100 that I can spend on various gift cards. I was pretty excited!
Well, off to bed - sleep well dear friends.
Guess what ???? I got an outstanding achievement award at work today along w/ $100 that I can spend on various gift cards. I was pretty excited!
Well, off to bed - sleep well dear friends.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Flying Solo
Jack is out of town all week and this weekend so I have the house to myself. I do ok with the house to myself most of the time but I get lonely and bored. He's only been gone a day and I'm already starting to feel it... not a big deal but well I miss him. I imagine this weekend will be horrible but ah well.
Work is overwhelming. Way too much to do - when I get done w/ this post I have at least 2 more hours in front of me tonight. But the good news is I still love my job! The people are good, the pay and benefits are excellent and overall it is wonderful. Just need to get caught up :)
Onto other news I've done something to my back - no idea what. I went to bed Sunday w/ no pain and woke up Monday hurting. It hurts to bend, stretch my arms out or to rotate right/left, it even hurts to bend my neck. No clue what I've done - any ideas? I have my annual physical Friday and if its not better I'll talk to her about it....
Patches is walking around the house meowing (he's looking for Jack)... sweet if I don't kill him before he shuts up :)
Well, I gotta get to work TTYL
Work is overwhelming. Way too much to do - when I get done w/ this post I have at least 2 more hours in front of me tonight. But the good news is I still love my job! The people are good, the pay and benefits are excellent and overall it is wonderful. Just need to get caught up :)
Onto other news I've done something to my back - no idea what. I went to bed Sunday w/ no pain and woke up Monday hurting. It hurts to bend, stretch my arms out or to rotate right/left, it even hurts to bend my neck. No clue what I've done - any ideas? I have my annual physical Friday and if its not better I'll talk to her about it....
Patches is walking around the house meowing (he's looking for Jack)... sweet if I don't kill him before he shuts up :)
Well, I gotta get to work TTYL
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
WoW - Life Is...
Life is such a gift. Many of us are walking thru our current existences wondering why we are here, where are we going next, why did THAT have to happen. It is so hard for us, myself especially, to stop and say WAIT this is just another day. Nothing that happens today is going to cause the world to end; it may seem like it does at that moment but in reality life will go on.
Lately I've been walking thru my life like a zombie:
1) Work
2) Work some overtime
3) Come Home
4) Watch TV or Read
5) Go to Bed & Start Over again
The house has gone to crap and as much as I want it clean I have no desire to clean it... Don't get me wrong my house is not nasty, it's just not clean. The floors need to be mopped, the laundry caught up, the dust bunnies need to be cleaned up and my bedroom well.... it looks like a tornado hit it! The problem is I don't care enough to do it.
Work is nutz. I stayed Friday until 8 pm to get caught up - then I had a migraine that put me in bed for two days this week; so know I'm even further behind. Not sure how to get caught up now I'm sooooooo far behind it's not even funny and it just keeps getting worse.
But life is a gift and he didn't give it to us so that we could sit around and worry about the next moment. We need to appreciate the moment we are in (even if you are cleaning house)... I need to remember that! I need to appreciate what I have and work to make it better. I need to breathe for just a moment and remember that life is good; treasure the moment!
Lately I've been walking thru my life like a zombie:
1) Work
2) Work some overtime
3) Come Home
4) Watch TV or Read
5) Go to Bed & Start Over again
The house has gone to crap and as much as I want it clean I have no desire to clean it... Don't get me wrong my house is not nasty, it's just not clean. The floors need to be mopped, the laundry caught up, the dust bunnies need to be cleaned up and my bedroom well.... it looks like a tornado hit it! The problem is I don't care enough to do it.
Work is nutz. I stayed Friday until 8 pm to get caught up - then I had a migraine that put me in bed for two days this week; so know I'm even further behind. Not sure how to get caught up now I'm sooooooo far behind it's not even funny and it just keeps getting worse.
But life is a gift and he didn't give it to us so that we could sit around and worry about the next moment. We need to appreciate the moment we are in (even if you are cleaning house)... I need to remember that! I need to appreciate what I have and work to make it better. I need to breathe for just a moment and remember that life is good; treasure the moment!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Recovering
I don't drink often - ok very rarely would be a more accurate term but last night I put a few back, more than a few. Shelley a girl I work with and a true friend of mine came over and we grilled out (4 cosmos) then we went out to LeBuzz in Marietta and watched a drag queen show. Loads of fun and I have no idea how many I ended up drinking, I lost count of the fuzzy navels but I had a lot of fun - today I'm recovering; paying for my drinking to excess. Won't do it again for a good long while but had fun! Drag Queens are a hoot! Man some of them look better than me and I can tell you that I would fall and kill myself on some of the shoes they wore, 5 in hills omg! Loved it though - Jack even went with us as my DD, he's so good to me! I love him more than life itself.
Have Fun, Be Safe, Break a Few Rules :)
Have Fun, Be Safe, Break a Few Rules :)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Loving Life
I have nothing really new to say other than I love my life. Right now I'm pretty stressed but happy! It's a great feeling. This is the first job I've had since '04 that after 6 months I wasn't thinking about finding something else. Great feeling!!! Gotta go to sleep now since I have nothing of great thought to say but have good night blogland!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Pictures
I forgot how much I love pictures. I take a ton them yes but I don't look at them very often. I just looked at pictures, really looked at them from Oct 06! I glance but I don't take a lot of time until I'm ready to do something. Tonight I decided I wanted to print some of my pics to hang on the wall in my new area, yes I have a wall! It's a cube still but now I have windows and a wall! I know your not impressed. Anyway - I went on the search and realized that I take some very good pictures; if I do say so myself. I know you think I'm cocky - but trust me I take just as many bad ones. I really didn't think I could sale my photography - I've thought about it but just as a dream then my sis-in-law mentioned it the other day and I think I may give it a shot. Especially after I printed the three pictures to go in one of those frames that holds 3 5x7 pictures. I framed them up and then sat back and looked. It is as good as anything I see in the store and it's something I can be proud of. Well, anyway I just wanted to share.
I'm not going to post the pics I'm mentioning here because I may very well decide to sale them later and I haven't figured out how to watermark them for blogger yet. However, here are a few others I printed tonight and put in another frame.
As soon Jack get's it where I can host www.mylerna.com here I will be moving my blog and hosting tons of watermarked pictures :) I'm excited to begin playing with it and maybe I will try to sale some of them; we shall see.
Good night blogland - More Your Dreams come true :)
I'm not going to post the pics I'm mentioning here because I may very well decide to sale them later and I haven't figured out how to watermark them for blogger yet. However, here are a few others I printed tonight and put in another frame.
Amanda, my niece - aren't her eyes just perfect?
Jack took this one of me and Mama. I didn't do it I tell ya :)
And here's one of Kaylee, one of my other nieces - Fun Days :)
As soon Jack get's it where I can host www.mylerna.com here I will be moving my blog and hosting tons of watermarked pictures :) I'm excited to begin playing with it and maybe I will try to sale some of them; we shall see.
Good night blogland - More Your Dreams come true :)
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Girls Day
I'm off for a girls day - Mani / Pedi / Shopping the works :) Woot - have fun today guys :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Long Long Time
I would say I'm sorry for not writing in such a long time, but heck its a blog, a online journal - not a daily requirement. So I'll say that I've missed sharing with you instead. I have been reading several of my normal blogs, but not all (Jae I've got to get caught up with you - can you resend me your new blog address so I can change it on my list?) ... for those of you that I've missed I'm sorry and please trust I'll be checking in soon.
My life is uneventful which is a great thing. I work, I come home and I go back to work. I'm not, as I thought, done with school - now I'm taking a 16 week insurance course for my CPCU designation (1 of 8) and you probably can guess - I'm behind. I know shock right! Not really my fault seeing as my office manager didn't order my books like she said she did.... but ah well. Work is nutz. I've been working till 7 and 9 o'clock most nights and I'm still so far behind I can't see but I love my job which is a feeling I'm so happy to have. For those readers who have been with me a while you know I've struggled job wise to find my fit and I think I have... it's great!
San Fransisco was good. I was sick all week, which sucked but we had fun. I'm still going thru pics and I will share them when I do. In the meantime well it was fun - the city itself not my favorite but the area around it, with it's views and the seals omg that was incredible. I saw a baby seal born in the wild! AND I GOT IT ON FILM!
I also started knitting again on my way out there - I need to work on it some more, time is a precious commodity I don't have alot of right now... but I'll get it done eventually.
Well, that enough for tonight - sleep well dear world.
My life is uneventful which is a great thing. I work, I come home and I go back to work. I'm not, as I thought, done with school - now I'm taking a 16 week insurance course for my CPCU designation (1 of 8) and you probably can guess - I'm behind. I know shock right! Not really my fault seeing as my office manager didn't order my books like she said she did.... but ah well. Work is nutz. I've been working till 7 and 9 o'clock most nights and I'm still so far behind I can't see but I love my job which is a feeling I'm so happy to have. For those readers who have been with me a while you know I've struggled job wise to find my fit and I think I have... it's great!
San Fransisco was good. I was sick all week, which sucked but we had fun. I'm still going thru pics and I will share them when I do. In the meantime well it was fun - the city itself not my favorite but the area around it, with it's views and the seals omg that was incredible. I saw a baby seal born in the wild! AND I GOT IT ON FILM!
I also started knitting again on my way out there - I need to work on it some more, time is a precious commodity I don't have alot of right now... but I'll get it done eventually.
Well, that enough for tonight - sleep well dear world.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Back
Well we are back from CA and we had a good time. It was certaintly adventerous ... but currenltly I'm sick and want to just go lay down so I'll tell you about it later. Just wanted to let everyone know we got back safely.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Update
Life is good and sometimes we need a reminder of that. Last night I went to the Trinity House
Several employees of my company, more than I thought actually, sponsor dinner there once a month and we go down and share a meal with these men who are trying to get their lives back in order. Last night was my first visit to the house and I have to admit that while speaking and sharing who I am was awkward it was great to see how these men are trying to pick themselves up and move into a better life. It was great to see so many people from my company come out and share their time and love for their fellow man. It was just good to see and I will probably go back next month.
Lately, my train of thought has been reflective. I have realized many things and going to the Trinity House maybe firmed up a few of them. While, I'm surprised that I feel the need to share this with the world I"m going to. Maybe by writing my ideas/thoughts/feelings here i will finally begin to work toward some changes that I need / want to make in my life, maybe not, either way I want to write them down and you out in blogland are my sounding board.
1) My self esteem is not where it should be. I say this for several reasons:
a) I look in the mirror and I am not satisfied. I know no one is always satisfied but all I see are the flaws: my stomach is starting to pouch, my teeth need to be straightened/whitened, I look like a boy.
b) I dress ok, but not Mrs. Fashion. The ladies I work with always look like a million bucks and I heard one person said "I'm the what not to wear girl" I know this is a high school type statement, but it really hurt my feelings. I'm not going to go buy a whole new wardrobe and I like most of my cloths and style but it's just another kink in the shield of self esteem we put on everyday before we face the world.
c) I'm constantly worried about what people think of me, do they like me, are they talking about me badly. I constantly am in need of positive feedback / encouragement and when I don't get it I start to get down on myself.
2) I need to in better shape. No I don't need to lose weight I need to get in better shape. I so hate it when you say "I need to exercise" and everyone says why, you don't need to lose weight. The fact that I am skinny does not negate the fact that I get out of wind walking up stairs or doing any strenuous activity exhaust me. I've been saying that I need to get in better shape for years but I really need to start doing something. I filled out the health questionnaire that work offers thru our insurance yesterday and I'm at 50% of the health I should be at my age. 50%!!! This is nuts and I have to do something! Making myself do it is another matter.
3) I get bored to easy but at the same time I don't want to do anything. I know it's crazy. The conversation is often at my house: (Mylerna) "I'm bored" (Husband) "Whatcha want to do?" (Mylerna) " I don't know, nothing" I mean what type of productive conversation is that? Then I spend hours in front of a tv /comp screen / reading doing nothing productive. GRRRR
4) I'm going to start doing some volunteer work, somewhere. I'll probably go to the Trinity House for the monthly thing Wachovia sponsors, but I want more. Maybe I'll knit chemo hats, maybe I'll ... hell I don't know something to give back.
Well, I'm out of ideas at the moment but I'm sure more will follow. Hope my reflection/vent wasn't too boring.
Several employees of my company, more than I thought actually, sponsor dinner there once a month and we go down and share a meal with these men who are trying to get their lives back in order. Last night was my first visit to the house and I have to admit that while speaking and sharing who I am was awkward it was great to see how these men are trying to pick themselves up and move into a better life. It was great to see so many people from my company come out and share their time and love for their fellow man. It was just good to see and I will probably go back next month.
Lately, my train of thought has been reflective. I have realized many things and going to the Trinity House maybe firmed up a few of them. While, I'm surprised that I feel the need to share this with the world I"m going to. Maybe by writing my ideas/thoughts/feelings here i will finally begin to work toward some changes that I need / want to make in my life, maybe not, either way I want to write them down and you out in blogland are my sounding board.
1) My self esteem is not where it should be. I say this for several reasons:
a) I look in the mirror and I am not satisfied. I know no one is always satisfied but all I see are the flaws: my stomach is starting to pouch, my teeth need to be straightened/whitened, I look like a boy.
b) I dress ok, but not Mrs. Fashion. The ladies I work with always look like a million bucks and I heard one person said "I'm the what not to wear girl" I know this is a high school type statement, but it really hurt my feelings. I'm not going to go buy a whole new wardrobe and I like most of my cloths and style but it's just another kink in the shield of self esteem we put on everyday before we face the world.
c) I'm constantly worried about what people think of me, do they like me, are they talking about me badly. I constantly am in need of positive feedback / encouragement and when I don't get it I start to get down on myself.
2) I need to in better shape. No I don't need to lose weight I need to get in better shape. I so hate it when you say "I need to exercise" and everyone says why, you don't need to lose weight. The fact that I am skinny does not negate the fact that I get out of wind walking up stairs or doing any strenuous activity exhaust me. I've been saying that I need to get in better shape for years but I really need to start doing something. I filled out the health questionnaire that work offers thru our insurance yesterday and I'm at 50% of the health I should be at my age. 50%!!! This is nuts and I have to do something! Making myself do it is another matter.
3) I get bored to easy but at the same time I don't want to do anything. I know it's crazy. The conversation is often at my house: (Mylerna) "I'm bored" (Husband) "Whatcha want to do?" (Mylerna) " I don't know, nothing" I mean what type of productive conversation is that? Then I spend hours in front of a tv /comp screen / reading doing nothing productive. GRRRR
4) I'm going to start doing some volunteer work, somewhere. I'll probably go to the Trinity House for the monthly thing Wachovia sponsors, but I want more. Maybe I'll knit chemo hats, maybe I'll ... hell I don't know something to give back.
Well, I'm out of ideas at the moment but I'm sure more will follow. Hope my reflection/vent wasn't too boring.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Fellow Man
I'm done with school - forever! That means I have alot of time on my hands and yes I enjoy watching tv, playing games and generally being lazy but, it bothers me on a base level. That being said I'm not looking to drastically change my lifestyle - I like being lazy. My company however allows you to volunteer 4 hours a month (paid) they also match your gifts and are big on volunteering so that got me to thinking - what can I do to help? I'm not sure if I have the answer yet but next Monday I think I'm going to go to a dinner at the Trinity House; a local shelter for homeless men. My company sponsors a dinner their once a month and people from my company go and share a meal with them. I think I'll go and see if this is my outlet, if not I'll try something else.
Michelle, a girl at work, who I really like is trying to do something different everyday! Can you imagine if you tried one new thing a day - what possibilities! I love it...
And changing the subject yet again - April is National Donate Life Month! As I said in a previous post, Josh, a guy I graduated with has received a new liver and thanks to this has many years ahead of him. So I'm going to steal some words from his blog to share with you "Don't take your organs to heaven, cause the Lord knows we need them here!" Become an organ donor today and be sure and let your family know your wishes! If they don't sign off upon your death it doesn't matter that your license says organ donor so let them know!
Welp, I'm off to sleep in my bed - alone - with the two kitties. I miss Jack already.
Michelle, a girl at work, who I really like is trying to do something different everyday! Can you imagine if you tried one new thing a day - what possibilities! I love it...
And changing the subject yet again - April is National Donate Life Month! As I said in a previous post, Josh, a guy I graduated with has received a new liver and thanks to this has many years ahead of him. So I'm going to steal some words from his blog to share with you "Don't take your organs to heaven, cause the Lord knows we need them here!" Become an organ donor today and be sure and let your family know your wishes! If they don't sign off upon your death it doesn't matter that your license says organ donor so let them know!
Welp, I'm off to sleep in my bed - alone - with the two kitties. I miss Jack already.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
1:15 AM
I'm normally in bed by 10 to 11 pm, at least lately. Yet here I am at 1:15 wide awake wishing I could go to sleep. Why you ask? Simply, I think, I drink coffee about 10:30. Why would I do such a thing you ask? Well, because coffee normally doesn't affect me at all. My Mamaw started me drinking coffee at 3 and for most of my life it, nor any caffeine really, has affected me at all. Yet, tonight I find myself laying there restless. This restlessness is causing my mind to wonder and think about things I'd rather not think about.
For example, Jack is out of town all next week. I've never stayed in this house completely by myself before. I'm not sure I'll do. I was laying there thinking and thought what if I fall down the stairs... will they find me a week later? Will this happen, no, but it's what I had going thru my mind. Pleasant thoughts I know.... Dang coffee :)
Well, I'm off to try and find some snooze - I need snooze I worked my butt off today cleaning this house. The bedroom, office and master bath still need a lot of work but the rest of the house is spotless (even the base baseboards).
Sleep well blogland!
For example, Jack is out of town all next week. I've never stayed in this house completely by myself before. I'm not sure I'll do. I was laying there thinking and thought what if I fall down the stairs... will they find me a week later? Will this happen, no, but it's what I had going thru my mind. Pleasant thoughts I know.... Dang coffee :)
Well, I'm off to try and find some snooze - I need snooze I worked my butt off today cleaning this house. The bedroom, office and master bath still need a lot of work but the rest of the house is spotless (even the base baseboards).
Sleep well blogland!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Today & Everyday
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else? Yes, I know we've all wondered what it's like to be a celebrity but that is not what I mean. I mean do you ever wonder what it's like to be your friend down the street, or your waitress at lunch or the guy bagging your groceries.
I realized today that I can come across to others as having a slightly aggressive, better than thou attitude. Which in reality could not be farther from the truth. I'm actually very shy, I don't start conversations with people I don't know because I don't really know how. So I smile and keep my mouth shut. I work hard and try to be good at my job, and yes I get aggravated when I'm overly criticized or when someone is being an idiot at theirs, but that's not aggressive just nature. I try to be nice to everyone. I'm also paranoid that people don't like me and that they talk about me behind my back. Probably not the case 99% of the time but this is my fear.
Where is this post going??? Well, I'm not sure. But all of this thinking made me think...
What is it like to be that person - to live their life - to see me thru their eyes. Quite an eye-opener if you think about it. Would you give the grocery guy the hurry up attitude if you knew he was being paid $5.15, was sick as a dog, had a kid at home and just really wanted to get thru his day? Wouldn't you be nice and try to make his day better if you knew this? I would, at least I hope I would.
Ok, so there you have it a page of rambling. I'm going for a walk and see if I can't get some focus. Life is good and I'm happy - Everything else is mute.
I realized today that I can come across to others as having a slightly aggressive, better than thou attitude. Which in reality could not be farther from the truth. I'm actually very shy, I don't start conversations with people I don't know because I don't really know how. So I smile and keep my mouth shut. I work hard and try to be good at my job, and yes I get aggravated when I'm overly criticized or when someone is being an idiot at theirs, but that's not aggressive just nature. I try to be nice to everyone. I'm also paranoid that people don't like me and that they talk about me behind my back. Probably not the case 99% of the time but this is my fear.
Where is this post going??? Well, I'm not sure. But all of this thinking made me think...
What is it like to be that person - to live their life - to see me thru their eyes. Quite an eye-opener if you think about it. Would you give the grocery guy the hurry up attitude if you knew he was being paid $5.15, was sick as a dog, had a kid at home and just really wanted to get thru his day? Wouldn't you be nice and try to make his day better if you knew this? I would, at least I hope I would.
Ok, so there you have it a page of rambling. I'm going for a walk and see if I can't get some focus. Life is good and I'm happy - Everything else is mute.
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